hell yes lets make some ravioli
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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