You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
