I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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