Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
