I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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