Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
