why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
