Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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