My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
