I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I will die if light touches me.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
