we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
