Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
