what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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