I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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