watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
