Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
