Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
