shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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