carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My vagina is officially offended.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
