Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
