Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
