u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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