So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
