i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You smell like stripper and shame
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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