At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize