I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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