We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
tell me about the eggs
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