Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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