I think my fart just growled at me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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