Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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