Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
