I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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