Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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