i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
