remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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