I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I smell stomach acid.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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