why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
