okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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