You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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