I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize