Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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