what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
