The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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