The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
