The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
