i just had sex bonerless
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wear drunk well.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
