we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
