if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it's great music for shaving your balls
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
