I never want to see another naked old woman again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
