next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
