theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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