I skipped work to stalk him.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
