Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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