Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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