So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
