i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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