Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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