why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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