Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
