drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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