I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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