Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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