Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize