Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize