I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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