I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
